The Big C...as in cancer

 At the time of this writing (2009) I had no idea what was in store for me years down the road...as I re-read this I was amazed of some of the verbiage I used.  (read at the end where I use marathon and sprint) I wasn't a runner then and I am very much aware of God's sense of humor and timing...enjoy!

I remember when I found out that I had cancer; my first thoughts were, I’m going to die. I just did not really prepare myself for those words. I was scared, even though I knew that God was in control, and I was scared because I did not want to leave this world, my family and my friends. I say I am ready to go “Home” meaning Heaven, but really I’m not. My life is great, and I love the people, and the beauty that surrounds me day in and day out, and that in a nutshell is the whole kit-n-caboodle.
How can I be not ready to go “Home”? Heaven is described as something I cannot even fathom, the beauty of it is like nothing I or any other human being has ever experienced, so how can I not be ready to go there? What does that say about me? I will tell you what I think it says… I am not done living my life; there are exactly three boys and one girl I plan to marry off and loads of grandchildren I want to spoil and one wonderful husband, who I can’t wait to grow old with. 

Maybe because the Bible tells me of things I cannot see or touch, I don’t take it as seriously as I should. I believe wholeheartedly in God’s word; don’t get me wrong, it is just hard for me to understand this Heaven I cannot feel. This life I lead here on earth, I can touch, and feel… it is comfortable… What a way to live, comfortable.

Maybe I am not supposed to feel comfortable. It may be that God wants me to be just the opposite… as in uncomfortable. He has plans for me; just because I don’t know what they are does not mean they don’t exist. I cannot for the life of me think of what would be so great about me that God has this whole plan worked out just for my life, but you know, He does. He loves me so much that He sent His only Son to die on that cross so that I could have eternal life. He loves me that much, and I had absolutely nothing to do with it. I have done nothing worthy of God’s love, but yet I have it. “Thank you for the life you have given me, and thank you for loving me in spite of myself”.

The friends I share life with are so special to me; they have all been a blessing in my life. Jesus is my friend too and He has blessed me with so many loved ones, I hardly feel deserving, but I thank Him anyway. As I finish up here, I just want to say that God is not finished with me yet, I am a work in progress, and my life is not a sprint… it is a marathon… to be taken one step at a time. So I am off to continue on the journey I call my life…my cancer…my journey. God be with you and may He richly bless you!

Now in 2012 I am healthy and in complete remission from my cancer.  I have lost about 60lbs and I run, bike and lift weights most days of the week. I have turned my health around with God's help and some determination to go forward and not back.  I don't even recognize that old me anymore,..in fact I cannot even stand to look at my old pictures except to remind myself of who I used to be. I have come a long way baby, and intend on going much farther.  

 "Limitations only exist if you let them"

 © 2012 Shannon M. King. This publication is the exclusive property of Shannon M. King and is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Shannon M. King. All rights reserved.